But from whatever, this is by far the most important piece of details I’ ve discovered:
JK, that a person I really did gain from my own good friends’ errors. Something I was required to discover the tough method was that costs weekday afternoons in a coffeehouse bitching to my good friends about being ghosted doesn’ t outcome in me coming house to my comfortable downtown loft with takeout (the ‘ 90s term for Seamless) every night. Not that shacking it in a studio home with 3 other individuals outlining methods to divvy up the staying $12.35 balance on my debit card isn’ t my meaning of enjoyable, however it’d be cool if somebody provided me a direct that life was going to be by doing this, ya understand? Anyhow, I understand your task’ s a joke, you ’ re most likely broke, and your love life … wellppp … however the good friends would ’ ve been much even worse off had their homes been IRL-priced, so get a bottle and chill the fuck out.
Joey &&Chandler ’ s( &Rachel ’ s )Apartment
Address: 90 Bedford St., # 19 New York NY Rent: $ 4,200/ month I won’ t challenge the size of Joey and Chandler ’ s house situated throughout the hall from Monica’ s, however I will challenge Joey ’ s acting profession, which was equivalent to gasoline station sushi. After being exterminated early on, he went flat broke (as do most acting wannabes). Thankfully, Joey had Chandler to conserve him from being a full-time dumpster scuba diver, however Chandler was required to offer Joey and 2 stock on a
transponster whatever-the-fuck-he-does’ s wage for a minimum of 5 seasons, makings no sense.
A 2-bed/1-bath house in West Village that’ s huge enough to fit a foosball table and 2 Barcaloungers isn’ t as stunning as the$ 4,200/ month lease Chandler put down, which resembles $2,850/ month 18 years earlier (yes, you’re old af), which’ s on the lower end of the spectrum, presuming the location hadn ’ t yet been damaged throughout a video game of “ Hammer Darts ” or “ Extreme Fireball. ” That lease likewise doesn’ t consist of the energy costs and other shit Chandler needed to spend for, like Joey’ s medical insurance and will to live, however truthfully thank god for Joey, or Chan would prob still be half a virgin by now.
Ross ’( &Rachel ’ s) Apartment
Address: Somewhere throughout the street from Monica&rsquo
; s put Rent: $ 4,500/ month If it wasn’ t for Ross pulling the No. 1 fuckboy relocation and
blending his hoes in various location codes nearly weding that British bitch with a scone up her ass, he’d still be residing in a common NYC shithole. Rather, he discovered a home with a bird’s- eye view of his sibling’s and buddy’ s sexcapades every night (EW). Out of every character’ s living scenario, the only credible one simply so occurs to be Ross’s, thanks to his profession as a medical professional paleontologist/college teacher who often fucks his trainees.
A 2-bed/1-bath, 700-square-foot house in the very same West Village area as Monica averages to about $4,500/ month, which would’ ve had to do with$ 3,054/ month back in ‘ 99. When tf did he not?), and thinking about Ross tossed a bitch fit ( about his fucking apothecary table that a person time, I’d presume his bougie dino cavern was geared up with an upgraded interior and (prob) fossilized foliage maintained in the wood floor covering or some shit. It’d most likely be at the more costly end of this lease spectrum.
Monica’ s &(&Rachel ’ s &Chandler ’ s &Phoebe ’ s) Apartment
Address: 90 Bedford St., # 20 New York NY Rent: $ 8,500 +/ month Monica unlawfully subletting her grandmother’ s old apartment or condo for 10 + years is the type of savagery I aim to reach one day. You seriously have to be a confirmed moron to believe that a ‘ 50s restaurant cook with flame-retardant boobs and a barista with waitressing abilities as abominable as Blake Lively’ s acting profession would live easily in a 1,500-square-foot apartment or condo, and not to discuss while likewise feeding 4 other mooch-y parasite good friends who obviously consume and get in and leave as they please.
She and Rachel were just paying $300/month living in their 2-bed/1-bath open layout home with a terrace that’ s been lease managed considering that obviously 600 B.C. Yeah, I stated $300, like one set of Khlo’ s stupidly priced jeans line, or a weekend bar tab. I currently pointed out that 700( ish)- square-foot houses in West Village typical $4,200/ month, so simply double the lease for double the layout and possibly pop a Xanny right away after.
Phoebe’ s( &Rachel ’ s) Apartment
Address: 5 Morton St. # 14, New York, NY
Actual Rent: $3,400/ month
Off, I’ m calling bullshit on Phoebe and this entire freelance masseuse thing which, looking back, was def an elegant term for the high end West Village woman of the street, Regina Phalange. You heard it here. This brings me to my next problem. Phoebe may’ ve likewise acquired her 1-bed/1-bath apartment or condo from her grandmother, however I’d rather think the outright lie that is Trump’ s most current tweet than think that a self-employed masseuse, who actually cancelled on and fucked over 90% of her customers every episode, made a comfy living in Manhattan.
Her decent-sized 1-bed/1-bath pad, which was later on developed into a 2-bed when Denise coped with her (K WHO TF WAS DENISE?!), lay 4 blocks from the remainder of the buddies ’ apartment or condos with a typical regular monthly lease of $3,400 ($ 2,300 in the ‘ 90s), however there ’ s still nofucking method she ’d have the ability to make lease while likewise doing this thing called LIVING. And do NOT even consider bringing the loose pocket modification and periodic prophylactic pointers from Phoebe’ s open mic days into this formula. #ItsNotSmellyCatsFault
Phoebe’ s Rundown Buick LeSabre
Address: Probably some alley in Hunts Point
Ok, so we never ever truly saw Phoebe’ s life pre-friends (or we did if you count enjoying ), however we do understand that she lived a fucking badass/hard-knock life by residing in a rundown Buick LeSabre on the streets of New York maturing. I indicate, she robbed prepubescent goober Ross who gathered rocks rather of Hot Wheels, which in and of itself is renowned.
Based on the expense of gas to keep her cars and truck warm in the winter season, the medical expenses from getting Hepatitis after a pimp spit in her mouth, the shared funeral service expenses for her mama who eliminated herself, and the valuable expense of living to inform everything, Phoebe is a likely alien and a fucking legend, however mainly a total secret that I will commit the rest of my life to breaking the case on.